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Laughing All the Way with Funny Christmas Quotes

Christmas can be a stressful time of year. From shopping to hosting to cooking and more. So, why not laugh your way out of your stress? Here are some funny Christmas Quotes that will have you Ho,Ho, Ho’ing along with Santa.

Their’s also a great giveaway hop at the end of this post so don’t miss out!

20 Funny Christmas Quotes

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”– Andy Borowitz

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”– Victor Borge

“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.”– Don Marquis

“I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.”– Bridger Winegar

“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”– Henny Youngman

“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?”– Matt Groening

“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”– Joan Rivers

“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”– Author Unknown

“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”– Frank McKinney Hubbard

“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.”– Author Unknown

“I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.”– Author Unknown

“Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like, “Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?” – Jim Gaffigan

“If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.”– Author Unknown

“People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.”– Author Unknown

“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.”– Robert Paul

“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.”– Melanie White

“There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas.”– Robert Staughton Lynd

“Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer… Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?”– Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

“Charlie, stay away from those things. They’re reindeer, you don’t know where they’ve been. They all look like they’ve got key lime disease.”– Scott Calvin in The Santa Clause

“Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?”– Santa Claus in Home Alone

Do you have a favorite funny Christmas quote?

Giveaway Hop Time

This is the perfect time of year to join our giveaway hop. So many bloggers have great prizes for the holidays. I’m giving away a $25 Amazon Gift Card. Good Luck!

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Monday 30th of November 2020

I try not to buy anything for myself while I am trying to provide for my kids and husband during the holidays. I would buy him something for his room I think. I would buy an anniversary gift for my friend. I might pick up a couple of the books on my wishlist if I don’t get them for Christmas.


Friday 30th of October 2020

I would buy him something for his room I think. I would buy an anniversary gift for my friend. Mine won’t connect to the internet anymore so I can’t download new books. I might pick up a couple of the books on my wish list if I don’t get them for Christmas.

Carolyn Daley

Sunday 22nd of December 2019

I would buy an anniversary gift for my boyfriend. Thanks for the chance!

Betty Curran

Sunday 22nd of December 2019

I would buy a new Kindle. Mine won't connect to the internet any more so I can't download new books.


Saturday 21st of December 2019

I will buy a memory card if I win.

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