Christmas can be a stressful time of year. From shopping to hosting to cooking and more. So, why not laugh your way out of your stress? Here are some funny Christmas Quotes that will have you Ho,Ho, Ho’ing along with Santa.
Their’s also a great giveaway hop at the end of this post so don’t miss out!
20 Funny Christmas Quotes
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”– Andy Borowitz
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”– Victor Borge
“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.”– Don Marquis
“I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.”– Bridger Winegar
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”– Henny Youngman
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?”– Matt Groening
“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”– Joan Rivers
“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”– Author Unknown
“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”– Frank McKinney Hubbard
“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.”– Author Unknown
“I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.”– Author Unknown
“Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like, “Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?” – Jim Gaffigan
“If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.”– Author Unknown
“People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.”– Author Unknown
“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.”– Robert Paul
“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.”– Melanie White
“There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas.”– Robert Staughton Lynd
“Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer… Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?”– Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
“Charlie, stay away from those things. They’re reindeer, you don’t know where they’ve been. They all look like they’ve got key lime disease.”– Scott Calvin in The Santa Clause
“Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?”– Santa Claus in Home Alone
Do you have a favorite funny Christmas quote?
Giveaway Hop Time
This is the perfect time of year to join our giveaway hop. So many bloggers have great prizes for the holidays. I’m giving away a $25 Amazon Gift Card. Good Luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
I try not to buy anything for myself while I am trying to provide for my kids and husband during the holidays. I would buy him something for his room I think. I would buy an anniversary gift for my friend. I might pick up a couple of the books on my wishlist if I don’t get them for Christmas.
I would buy him something for his room I think. I would buy an anniversary gift for my friend. Mine won’t connect to the internet anymore so I can’t download new books. I might pick up a couple of the books on my wish list if I don’t get them for Christmas.
I would buy an anniversary gift for my boyfriend. Thanks for the chance!
I would buy a new Kindle. Mine won’t connect to the internet any more so I can’t download new books.
I will buy a memory card if I win.
I would buy a new shirt
Diaper or wipes
I will buy a DVD or two. Amazon has a great selection of DVDs.
My sons birthday was last weekend, and no one came. So I would buy him something for his room i think. Cheer him up a bit 🙂
Books,socks and a mug.
I will get my granddaughter some books and slides to go with her microscope.
I might pick up a couple of the books on my wishlist if I don’t get them for Christmas. If I do, then, probably clothing.
I would buy a bird feeder.
I will buy some turmeric curcumin supplement.
I would buy something fun for the pets.
I really don’t know what I would buy
I would buy a new blanket.
I would Broadway CDs.
I would put it towards an instant pot.
I’ll buy books!
I would buy a scarf.
I’m saving to buy a pillow for Mom.
You make me laugh! GH thanks and good luck to all!
i could use a new toaster
I would buy a new gloves.
I would buy something special for my grandson. Thanks for the opportunity!
got lots of movies on my wishlist
Some nice warm fleece socks.
A laptop case
I would probably let my little girl pick out something.
some books for my daughter
I would put it towards a laptop
I need to buy some school books so this would help me out.
I will buy myself some new pajamas. Thanks for the giveaway!
I’d buy something for my daughter!
If I win I will buy some K-cups.
I would buy some eye cream for myself if I win. I try not to buy anything for myself while I am trying to provide for my kids and husband during the holidays but I need some under eye cream to help with my appearance.
I would most likely give this as a gift, if I keep it I will use it on craft supplies.
This would come in handy for the grandkids for Christmas! Thanks and Merry Christmas! GH
maybe a book or a gift for someone.
Tried a fourth time and finally did
I’ve done three of the entries but I push each button and it isn’t recording them or giving me the entries ?
I’d buy something fir my new house.
I would use the GC towards a new pair of boots.
Truthfully, I have a looonnnggg Amazon wishlist but I think I would put it towards a Multipot cooker for me.
I would put it toward Christmas gifts for my kids. The little one wants a basketball and the girls want Barbies.
I will use for a Christmas gift GH
I have a lot of books on my wishlist so I would buy a couple of books.
I would use it to buy some books.
I would buy a pillow.
If I won I would buy some books from my wishlist.
I would buy books.
I’d love to get a new book or movie for myself!
I’d buy stocking stuffers!
I will use it to purchase vitamins or protein powder.
I might buy some books.
I would buy cat food.
I would probably buy a few books 🙂
Thanks for the chance to win!!
this would go for my stocking stuffers
I would put it toward Christmas gifts for the kiddos. Thanks for the chance!
I would use it to buy Christmas presents for my kids.
I’d buy my daughter a t-shirt she wants.
If I won I would buy a new pair of winter gloves.
I would buy cat food and supplies.
This would help to offset some Christmas presents
I would buy some bath and body
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Hard to say what I might buy. It depends on what is at the top of the priority list at the time. The list is endless but the priorities keep shifting
I’d buy myself a pair of slippers!
I would put it towards some k-cups
Thanks for the laugh! GH
I would buy some new bath towels for the guest bathroom.
I would get some candles!
I would use it to buy some gourmet food goodies!
I will get new books
if I win it will go towards a new computer
I would probably add more ebook to my reader, you can never have enough books.
I would use it for a Christmas gift.
I would buy some books for my daughter.
I would buy some stocking stuffers.
I would get gifts for the family.
If I won, I would probably buy some books or some clothing.
i would keep this on hand forgifts!
I would put it towards last minute Christmas gifts from Amazon. I just started Christmas shopping today.
Honestly, it would go towards the homeless I volunteer for.
Some smart bulbs or cfl.
I would buy a couple paring knives.
If I win, I’m going to buy an LED light for my closet.
buy books GH
If I won I would use this towards Christmas presents.
I would buy some Kindle books.
I would buy books!
I will put it toward Christmas gifts.
If I won, I would buy wireless earbuds
I would get some clothes for the kids
I would buy my sister in law baby clothes because she is pregnant!
Boy or girl? How old is it?
I’ll get a new Honda…from the matchbook section. 🙂
This will be a stocking stuffer!
I will buy a birthday gift for my son.
I would buy a gift for my mom for Christmas!
I would use this towards our regular kitty litter order. So nice to have the 40 lb bag delivered right to my door.
Thanks for chance to win! I’d probably get some books! GH
I would buy Christmas gifts
I would use this towards Christmas presents. Thanks so much.
I am going to buy SD memory cards
new vacuum to clean up!
I would like to buy a new pillowcase!
i’m putting it toward my son’s wishlist for his birthday or christmas. they’re a week apart!
I have a big wishlist so I am not sure.
I would buy something for my daughter if I win.
I will buy something from my daughter’s wishlist for sure. Thank you so much for the chance. GH