I have been blessed with an opportunity to be interviewed by a national magazine. Me? WOW! I have a photo shoot this week. The “old” me would be frantically trying to lose five pounds. The new me is content with where I am right now. Sure, I still want to lose a few pounds, but the process will not be a race like it used to be. The new me is embracing my imperfections.
The perfectionist “monster” in me has taken over in my past. I’m working on keeping him caged up for good. Creating balance in my life is my top priority. Even with a few extra pounds on my hips, I actually feel more content in many ways than I did when I was at the top of my fitness.
I hit 40, lost about 15 pounds, and got in the best shape of my life. I was celebrated for these accomplishments and even included in a commercial for my success story. I felt amazing at the time, but that lifestyle ultimately made me a little too fitness crazy. I made my workouts more important than anything else in my life.
At the time, I thought this was the right thing for me. In certain respects it was. I had just moved across the country and my mother had recently passed away. I “fixed” my heartache and loneliness by fixing my body. It felt wonderful for a while, but after an injury, when I could no longer workout, I felt like I had lost part of myself.
I’ve realized that I should not identify myself by my workouts or feel like a failure when I don’t fit formal exercise into my day. I’ve given out advice in the past to make your fitness a non-negotiable part of your day. This is something I still strive for, but it’s not going to crush me if I don’t get there every day. I have a daughter who is only 8. I want nothing more than for her to believe she is beautiful inside and out regardless of how many sit-ups or pushups she can do. She was starting to measure her worth by her own fitness. I want her health and fitness to be important, but not obsessive like I once was.
I hope I am showing her that imperfection is beautiful. That focusing my time on my friends and family is what is most important. These imperfect legs take family hikes, play kickball and tag. These imperfect arms carry piggy back rides and hug tightly each day. Imperfection is Beautiful!